margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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