@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
