i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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