i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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