ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
