I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
