You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
