I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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