Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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