Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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