the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
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Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
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i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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