had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
