He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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