Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
