dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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