I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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