I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
