if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can I color on your dick again?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
