So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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