I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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