Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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