Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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