Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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