doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
