thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
