It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
