How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
