You made me cry and you don't even care
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel great
I just peed on a car
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
