It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
God, I missed his penis.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
