I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
