i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
