So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
