One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
