what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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