Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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