it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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