wat bout pragnant strippers??
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.