after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
