It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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