I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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