3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
