i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
not ubering you a puppy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
