You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize