You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
