Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
