I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
