Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
