It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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