I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
