just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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