She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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