the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
