im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
