we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize