i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
