he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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