Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
