dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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