Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
