That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
