thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
